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I have so many new Reductress posts to share with you this week! I’m exhausted. Enjoy:
“Jeremy better buckle the fuck up, because I’m not playing around this autumn. If he thinks he’s going to make it to November without painting miniature pumpkins and gourds, he is one sorely mistaken motherfucker.”
- No Way In Hell is My Boyfriend Getting Out Of Apple Picking This Year
“All moms face the same headaches on holiday getaways—the long car rides full of fighting, the hassle to get everyone settled at the motel, the creak of the floorboards as you slip out in the night.”
- I Needed a Vacation From My Vacation! So I Abandoned My Family Forever.
“Say, ‘I just want one bite.’ Who can argue with that? It’s not like you’re some big dessert person who’s going to wolf down the whole thing. You just want a taste. You can stop anytime you want. Dessert people can’t stop; that’s the difference.”
- How To Let The Waitress Know That You Aren’t Normally A Dessert Person, But Everything Just Looks So Good Here
“Florals and groovy prints are popping up all over the place! Blouses, dresses, and even coats all seem a little bit funkier now that the ‘60s have returned. What do they want from us? Weren’t the ‘90s enough for them? Will it EVER be enough for them?”
- The ‘60s Are Back! Why Won’t They Just Leave Us Alone?
I recently took over as the Music Editor of BUST Magazine, which is proving to be an amazing gig! Today I posted an interview I got to do with Orenda Fink about her new album; we talked about Jungian dream therapy, sexism she faced in Azure Ray, and what losing her dog taught her. It was one of my favorite interviews that I’ve ever done and actually made me cry, which was extremely professional.
The only downside to this job is that I hear way too much good music for us to ever be able to cover.
I know. That is not an actual problem.
The point is, I’ll be sharing some tunes. In no particular order, here are some things I’ve been listening to this week:
The threat of contracting bird mites has risen in recent years as feathers have become fashionable jewelry and hair accessories. Teen style blogger Jenni Jaye confirms: “It’s all about the feaths. It’s like a very Native American, Coachella moment right now, and literally every girl is dangling her feathered accessories into a chicken coop or cardinal’s nest trying to snag some sick accessories.”
I reported on a new #teencrisis for Reductress!
And so it all ends here.
What was this season? Was it the worst Housewives season ever? The fakest? The dullest? The death knell for the entire Housewives empire?
As a finale, this one fell pretty flat for me. And that’s saying something considering someone threw her fake leg across the room. Even that gesture rang hollow to me. (I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist.)
I’m baaack! I’m sorry I had to abandon you for the last two episodes, but I’ll be honest: they put me into a deep slumber for two weeks and I’m only just waking up. What’s happening? Who am I? Who are all of these people pretending to be friends?
It’s hard to believe that we’re closing in on the end of this season and yet so little has happened. It’s been an odd, disjointed season, no? It got off to such a great start with the authentic batshit crazy of #BookGate but it feels like it’s been struggling to pick up momentum ever since. And we’ve barely even seen Heather.