Save Money This Holiday Season by Starting a Facebook Feud With Your Family (Reductress)

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Politics: It’s time to get involved!

Who doesn’t love a heated Facebook debate about gun control? All of your family members, that’s who! Just make sure to challenge a broad range of views, and if anyone questions your flip-flopping, don’t worry; you’re simply “playing Devil’s advocate…” all the way to the bank!”

Save Money This Holiday Season by Starting a Facebook Feud With Your Family (Reductress)

Check out my latest helpful holiday hintz for Reductress!

Abortion Protester’s Signs Reveal a Lifelong Love Affair with Crafting (Reductress)

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“I’ve always loved arts and crafts, making birthday cards, that sort of thing,” Ms. Sojourn said, speaking to us in her home, a veritable treasure trove of her creations. “So when I was offered the opportunity to shame women who make different choices from me by making posters, I was so in.”

Abortion Protester’s Signs Reveal a Lifelong Love Affair with Crafting (Reductress)

Check out my latest for Reductress!

 

Dying Woman Donates Her Pussy to Drake (Reductress)

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Phillips has been a fan of the sensitive Canadian rapper for years. “It’s clear that there is a real need here,” she says. “I mean, for a minute it seemed like he might be able to lock down Rihanna, but that fell apart. Sometimes I just ask God why some people have so much pussy while others have so little.”

Dying Woman Donates Her Pussy to Drake (Reductress)

Bold Androgynous Haircuts For Perfectly Symmetrical Faces (Reductress)

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“This boyish, dynamic style could be your next great look, if you have the kind of bone structure that inspires marble sculptures. This look would be so dangerous on anyone with an imperfect face, but it’s perfect for you!”

Bold Androgynous Haircuts For Perfectly Symmetrical Faces (Reductress)

Reductress: Woman Still Doing Modified Workout After 20 Years

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Woman Still Doing Modified Workout After 20 Years (Reductress)

“I invited Helen to a yoga class once,” says Cosentino, a friend of Schmulsky’s from church. “I thought it would be good for her to shake things up, but she ended up spending most of the class in child’s pose. I even saw her use a foam block once. Why would anyone need a foam block for child’s pose?”

Check out my latest for Reductress!

No Way In Hell is My Boyfriend Getting Out Of Apple Picking This Year, & More for Reductress!

woman-fall-autumnI have so many new Reductress posts to share with you this week! I’m exhausted. Enjoy:

“Jeremy better buckle the fuck up, because I’m not playing around this autumn. If he thinks he’s going to make it to November without painting miniature pumpkins and gourds, he is one sorely mistaken motherfucker.”
No Way In Hell is My Boyfriend Getting Out Of Apple Picking This Year

“All moms face the same headaches on holiday getaways—the long car rides full of fighting, the hassle to get everyone settled at the motel, the creak of the floorboards as you slip out in the night.”
I Needed a Vacation From My Vacation! So I Abandoned My Family Forever.

“Say, ‘I just want one bite.’ Who can argue with that? It’s not like you’re some big dessert person who’s going to wolf down the whole thing. You just want a taste. You can stop anytime you want. Dessert people can’t stop; that’s the difference.”
How To Let The Waitress Know That You Aren’t Normally A Dessert Person, But Everything Just Looks So Good Here

“Florals and groovy prints are popping up all over the place! Blouses, dresses, and even coats all seem a little bit funkier now that the ‘60s have returned. What do they want from us? Weren’t the ‘90s enough for them? Will it EVER be enough for them?”
– The ‘60s Are Back! Why Won’t They Just Leave Us Alone?